As usual I started to think about WOTW yesterday. Some weeks are harder to pin down and I need to worry away at the week past to find a word that fits. So I like to give some time for musing and see what pops up. This week I’d decided that my word would be companionship.
Then, as I lay in bed I heard the news of the terrible events in Nice on the radio. Suddenly I was filled with sadness and confusion. I feel increasingly that I don’t understand the world anymore. Things like this don’t make sense to me and I can’t get my head round what is happening to the world. I have no comprehension of the mind set of people who want to harm others, to kill and maim people going about their ordinary lives. I feel numb at the senselessness of it and so, so sad that it happens again and again, in all parts of the world.
The politics of it baffle me. I don’t understand how terrorising others gets anyone what they want/demand. I worry that more and more people think that violence and terror are the only ways to get your point across. As an ordinary woman I struggle to understand how hearts and minds can be turned to hate for other ordinary people.
The sense of sadness is almost overwhelming. I am sadly getting used to feeling sad for the world, for people I do not know and will never know, for those affected and left devastated by loss. My heart aches for the people of Nice today and it saddens me to think that this probably won’t be the last time I feel this way.
So I thought long and hard about changing my WOTW. I wondered if I should change it to reflect how I am feeling in the immediate aftermath of this atrocity. Yet this is one incident on one day and it doesn’t reflect my week or indeed anyone else’s week. So I will stick with my original word: companionship.
I have spent a lovely week with my son. We have had a very companionable time together including a trip to Oxford. I reflected on how our relationship has changed over the years. Now he’s fully grown (is there a song there?) we have a different relationship, less ‘parenting’ more companions and friends. I’m still his Mum and expect to be listened to and respected but he’s an adult and responsible for himself. I look back nostalgically to the days when he was little, skipping down the hill to school. Nostalgia is a wonderful way to spend some time – I can get nostalgic for hours! Naturally all this nostalgia can mean I put my rose coloured glasses on and at times like today when we hear about acts of terror – ‘None of this would have happened when I was younger’ etc – and it’s certainly true that some things are different and potentially scary in the world today that weren’t around when I was younger. The world may have been simpler and it certainly seemed less scary. Or was it? As a young child I probably didn’t pay much attention to the scary news so it may well have been a scarier world than I remember.
But I digress. This week has been a lovely one filled with companionable, happy time with my son. We had a nice trip to Oxford, indulged in some Magic the Gathering – I know, I’m learning! – and had some interesting conversations. In the light of what is happening in the world it was a good way to spend my week.